We are all unprepared for death, our own and the deaths of others in our lives. We see it in families whose children die, whether 16 months or 29 years. We see it families who lose their elders, whether 54, 68, or 90. All deaths are sudden. We even see it in families of folks in hospice care.
It is the hardest “rite of passage” of them all. I have written before about programs that teach folks (like gang-bangers) to value life by having them witness birth, but there is nothing like experiencing a death of a loved one to drive home the value of life.
They aren’t there to do all the things they used to do, the stuff you loved and the stuff you hated. Your relationship to the world changes because that “pillar” is no longer there. You want to know why, why did they die and why did they live. You want to know what comes next, for yourself and for the one who has died.
We try to prepare ourselves for our experiences with death. We tell ourselves that all things die and anyone can die at any moment. Life is only a temporary state of being. But how do we truly prepare? Think about it; work through it in your brain and in your mind and in your soul.
Nonetheless, all death is sudden.