Friday, October 02, 2009

Grief normal or too much

Grief does have it purpose, adjusting to the change in your life and dealing with your loss. We deal with grieving folks all the time and not just at the time of the death of their loved one, but often for weeks (and occasionally longer) after that.
Each of the 2.5 million annual deaths in the United States directly affects four other people, on average. For most of these people, the suffering is finite — painful and lasting, of course, but not so disabling…
For some people, however — an estimated 15 percent of the bereaved population, or more than a million people a year — grieving becomes …“a loop of suffering.” … “It takes a person away from humanity,” she said of their suffering, “and has no redemptive value.”
This extreme form of grieving, called complicated grief or prolonged grief disorder…

Those that do become debilitated by their grief, locked into that loop, do need professional help. They need to develop the tools in their psyche, in their lives, to deal with something that will not go away, but that can be dealt with. They may need to be nudged or pushed in that direction.

Grief is normal. You don’t get over it. But you can not let it take over your life to the point there is nothing else.

1 comment:

Nicki said...

This is good advice - but in my opinion a complicating factor is that there is no uniform "time limit" on grief. Some people need more time to recover than others do, and their friends and family need to be sensitive to the transition from the "normal" grief process to the "loop of suffering" described.